12 Days of Jolex 2016
by Serendipity Cullen
Summary: It's that time of year again! The 12 Days of Jolex! Christmas themed mini stories featuring our beloved couple. Jolex/Grey's Anatomy belongs to Grey's Anatomy/Shonda Rhimes. I don't own them at all...but if I did, I'd treat them better!
1. Day 1 - Blue Christmas

**A/N - My sincerest apologies in advance for this years 12 Days of Jolex. I know they've always been happy, upbeat drabbles, but this year...well, Jolex aren't in a very happy, upbeat place, so it's brought out some morbid Christmas feels. This year each mini story will be longer than years past, and they'll be based on song lyrics. Just call me Miss Grinch this year ;)**

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Day 1 - Blue Christmas

 _Bells will be ringing, the sad sad news_  
 _Oh what a Christmas, to have the blues_

Days before Christmas in gloomy Seattle, two residents sat at a bar, one high on her career and the other down in the dumps.

Jo Wilson swirled her glass of cola with her finger as she sighed heavily. Her life had become such a mess lately, and she couldn't even drown her sorrows in alcohol. Just a few glasses to numb the pain. To make her forget for a few moments the catastrophe known as her life. Then again, her biggest problems started one drunken night in this very bar. The brunette pushed aside the glass and grabbed a tortilla chip. An argument turned into a full on fight, which lead to the drinking, and having to depend on a colleague to take her home. And the rest...was totally her fault.

If the resident had stayed sober, everything would be fine.

If Jo had told Alex the truth in the beginning, everything would be fine.

If, if, if.

No matter what if, no matter what other circumstances, things would still be her fault. Everything was always her fault. Things never worked out for her because she was always messing everything up.

"Jo, you're killing the cheese dip!"

"Huh?" the brunette jarred from her thoughts, looking over to her friend.

Stephanie motioned to the dip, the bottom of the bowl barely covered in ooey goodness. "You're going to get fat if you keep drowning your woes in cheese. At least alcohol has less calories. And fat."

"Who cares if I get fat?" the resident shrugged, retrieving another chip and scraping the side of the bowl. "Nothing else is going good in my life, so I might as well be fat and happy. Isn't that how it goes? Fat and happy?" She pondered the thought a moment before stuffing the chip in her mouth.

"Pity party of one." Edwards rolled her eyes before reaching into her pocket to retrieve her blaring pager. "I have to go."

"Of course you do," Jo sighed as her friend threw some bills on the bar and retrieved her coat. "Call me if you need me!"

Seriously? Could things get any worse?

The young woman retrieved her cola, taking a long drink. Maybe Steph was right, maybe she was having a pity party...but damnit, if anyone was entitled to a pity party, it was Jo Wilson. Her life her had gone to hell in a matter of weeks.

First, her mentor, Callie Torres, transferred from the hospital. After stumbling through her internship with no real direction, the brunette _finally_ found her mojo in ortho. The thought of dealing with bones, fractures, and metals stimulated her. Gave her a purpose, the reason she became a doctor. Dr. Torres understood that and planned to fertilize that desire in her. Jo was going to be a badass, rockstar ortho goddess, and now... Right back to square one. And to make matters worse, her friend was _killing_ it at the hospital. The next Cristina Yang with Harper Avery potential. The top resident soon to be a top attending. Jo was thrilled for her friend, but Stephanie's success was an even bigger reminder of her failures.

And then...the Alex situation. Their relationship had always been...complex to say the least, but now, it was nonexistent.

Jo knew she was to blame, after all, she'd asked for space when everything hit the fan, but...God, how she missed him. Her sleepless nights were spent remembering the good times. Sure, they had arguments, every couple did, but there were so many good times too. They couldn't throw all of that away. The brunette was willing to swallow her pride and approach the peds surgeon, but each time she saw him, he was...fine. Alex was fine. It didn't seem like he missed her at all. Maybe it was the looming court dates or his history of holding things inside, but...he didn't act like he cared.

"Oh hell no," the brunette mumbled as someone started up the jukebox in the corner and a sappy Christmas song filled the air. After paying her tab, she snuggled into her jacket and left the bar behind. "Not again," Jo sighed in frustration as she flipped through the radio stations, each one playing Christmas tunes. Finally, she turned the radio off and kept driving. Past the loft. Past Stephanie's apartment. The young woman wasn't ready to spend another night alone while her friend was rocking her residency.

Minutes later Jo stared out the windshield as her car rolled to a stop in front of Meredith's home. She wasn't even sure how she got here; her body instinctively drove the car to the place she knew Alex would be. Maybe, just maybe, they could finally talk about everything that had happened. Mend bridges and move on. Put the past behind them and focus on their future together. It was the season of miracles, right? That's what cheesy songs and drippy movies were pushing anyway.

Jo turned the car off and bit her lip. She and Alex had a good thing going. She loved him, more than she'd ever loved anyone in her whole life. The least she could do was fight for him. Nodding once with determination, the woman climbed from the car, heading to the front door with new life in her steps. Instead of wallowing in her sadness, she'd take charge and step up. He was worth it.

As she neared the front door, her steps slowed as movement through the window caught her attention.

Meredith had a Christmas tree in the window, probably for the kids. The surgeon had never been one for holiday cheer, but having children had obviously changed her. The scene was practically one out of a Hallmark movie. Mer had Ellis on her hip, showing the little girl an angel ornament while Zola hung a red ball on a lower branch. Alex appeared in front of the window, grasping Bailey and lifting him so the little boy could put the star on top of the tree. The man snuggled the child and placed a kiss to his forehead before laughing at something Meredith said.

Jo blinked back threatening tears and slowly stepped away from the house, turning back for her car.

Alex was fine. He had his people, his family.

Jo was the one left out in the cold.

An orphan.

As always.


	2. Day 2 - Home For Christmas

**A/N - Wow! :O I'm so sorry for bumming you guys out so bad :( I know it sucked, but...couldn't you see it happening on the show? Especially with how they're treating Jolex? If it helps, it's Alex's turn now haha**

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Day 2 - Home For Christmas

 _I'll be home for Christmas..._

Alex's heart began to pound as the elevator doors opened and the door to the loft came into view. It was now or never. He was going out on a limb to let Jo know how much he loved and missed her. If he was possibly going away for many, many years, she had to know how he felt. That despite everything that happened, both of their screwed up lives, she was the one thing he'd done right. The one person he'd given his all to-the good, the bad, and the ugly. She was the one who saw it all. Yes, she wanted her space, but he had to tell her. This might be his last chance.

Maybe it was the Christmas spirit or whatever. Christmas was usually hard at the hospital. In fact, it sucked. But, working in the clinic this year...things were actually a bit better. He never, ever thought he'd actually appreciate the clinic, but this year, the peds surgeon was able to catch little things and prevent them from growing into bigger things that would ruin the holiday season for many families. Alex was able to see them before they were gravely ill. Before surgeries, before flat lining. He was actually able to see the kids freaking happy. The parents relieved, not clinging to him in tears because their child was gone.

It had actually given him a little hope.

Alex took a deep breath before rapping his knuckles against the door.

Silence.

"Jo!" he called, knocking once more. "I just...I just want to see you," he said after several moments of silence. Biting his lip, Alex reached into his pocket, gripping the key to the place he once called home. The place that Jo had found for them. _Their_ home. "I'm coming in," he warned her before turning the key in the lock and opening the door.

Jo wasn't there.

A feeling of sadness washed through Alex as he looked over the loft. It hadn't changed since that fateful night weeks earlier. Jo was obviously staying with someone else. His steps were heavy as he moved through the loft, noting Andrew's blood on the rug. Plates and cups scattered in the floor. Her jeans piled to the side. The images of that night flashed through his mind as a pain settled in Alex's chest. He'd spent the past year convincing himself that he had changed; he was no longer that hot-tempered boy who beat his dad. The sad truth was that nothing had changed.

Alex blinked back tears and turned towards a noise behind him. "Jo," he croaked, seeing her step into the loft.

The brunette stood there for several moments just staring at him. "I-I didn't know you were going to be here," she stuttered, motioning towards him. "I, uh, was just coming to get some clothes."

"You haven't been here," he observed, looking around.

"No, I'm, umm, I'm staying with Stephanie." Jo cleared her throat and looked away before meeting his gaze. "Do you...need something...Alex?"

He visibly sighed at the sound of his name on her lips. God, he'd missed her. "I just wanted to talk, Jo."

The young woman's breath caught in her throat as he took one small steps towards her. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I'm in hell, Jo," Alex blurted out, his voice cracking. "I'm in literal hell. Jeez, I just...I want to fix it, but...I'm not sure if I can... I just..." He started to pace, glancing to her every few steps. "I've gone over and over in my head, everything I want to tell you, and... The only thing I can say is that I love you."

Jo crossed the loft floor, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "I love you too," she whispered into his ear. "I never stopped."

Alex's arms tightened around her, his fingers grasping her as if she was going to slip away from him any second. "Can I come home now?"

"Of course you can."

* * *

"DR. KAREV!"

Alex jerked awake. "What?!" he barked towards the door of the oncall room.

"I-I'm sorry," a first year intern stuttered. "Dr. Bailey has been paging you for half an hour. She needs to see you."

"Tell her I'll be there in a minute!"

The intern nodded before running from the oncall room.

Alex sighed heavily and looked around the empty room. He wasn't in the loft, being forgiven by Jo. It was only a dream. A sad, sad dream.

 _If only in my dreams_


	3. Day 3 - Alone

**A/N - Hey readers! :) No apologies needed in reviews! I totally understand where you're coming from, and I do no take it personally xoxo Just hang in there with these stories-it will get better :)**

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Day 3 - Alone

 _Outside the wind seems so cold_  
 _Your heart is frozen like the snow_  
 _And there's no one home_  
 _To keep you safe and warm_  
 _Your eyes are red because you've cried_  
 _You fell asleep by the fireside_  
 _But there's one thing you should know_  
 _On this Christmas baby_  
 _You don't have to be alone_

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" Andrew Deluca asked as he and his friend crossed the parking lot.

"Yeah, I'm sure," the brunette replied as she approached her car and fumbled with the keys. "That place holds bad memories for both of us, you especially."

The intern nodded. "It's probably best you're getting rid of it."

"Yeah." Jo sighed heavily, looking down to her hands. Selling the loft was a good idea, she had to keep reminding herself of that. It was pretty clear that she and Alex weren't getting back together, and...she couldn't bring herself to live there anymore. Not after everything that happened. When the shit hit the fan, it hit the fan _hard_. A secret she was keeping to spare Alex not only came to light, but nearly cost the intern his life. "See you tomorrow," she murmured before ducking into the car and cranking up.

The young woman drove as slowly as possible, dreading the realization the next few moments would bring. Once she started packing up her belongings, it was official. She was moving from the loft, she would be selling it. It would no longer be the place she shared with the man she loved. Maybe a couple who stood a chance would get it, and their memories would truly fade away.

The thought made her incredibly sad.

Jo fought back tears as she parked the car and stepped into the freezing wind. It seemed even mother nature was trying to prevent her from doing it, but she had to. It was the healthy thing to do. She locked her car and forced her feet to move towards the loft she and Alex shared.

The brunette wasn't prepared for the feelings that assaulted her when she opened the door.

The loft smelled like him, his presence everywhere.

A jacket tossed over the dining room chair. His punching bag hanging in the corner. A cologne bottle tumped over on the bathroom sink.

Jo walked through the loft slowly, remembering the first night she brought him here.

 _It looks like a crime scene_

Ironically enough, their place _had_ become a crime scene.

Her hand flew to her mouth as the tears filled her eyes, immediately spilling down her cheeks. Jo didn't know where it was coming from, but once she started to cry, she couldn't stop. Sob after sob raked through her body as she cried for everything.

Tears for the beatings she took at the hand of her husband.

Tears for living in her car because she couldn't have her name attached to an apartment because he'd find her.

Tears for traveling across the country and changing her name to try to escape him.

The young woman threw herself on the bed she once shared with Alex, clutching the sheet in her fist as she continued to sob and wail.

Tears for the donuts, the couch, and the beer.

Tears for all the lies.

Tears for not telling him at the Kepner wedding.

Once the walls she'd put around her heart broke, the battered woman couldn't cry enough.

Hours later, Alex burst into the loft. "Jo, I know you're here," he started, his voice hard. How could she sell the loft without telling him?! Was she really getting rid of their home?! "Jo!" He scanned the loft, spotting her body curved in the fetal position on the bed. "Jo," he lowered his voice, stepping softly towards the bed.

Alex's heart nearly shattered as he walked around the bed to see her face. "Jo," he whispered, seeing her staring blankly ahead. Her eyes were red from crying, mascara streaked down her cheeks, and she gripped the sheet like a lifeline.

"Please go..." Her voice was soft and shaky, so soft that he almost didn't hear her.

Instead, the peds pulled his jacket from his shoulders and let it drop to the floor before climbing into bed behind her, pulling her body firmly against his chest. "Ssshhhh," he soothed as she resisted, draping his arm over her hip and covering her hand with his. "I'm here, I'm here," he whispered as her body relaxed fractionally.

He was pretty sure an argument was on the horizon, but for now, he could just hold her when she needed someone. No matter what had happened between them, he would be her rock. "You don't have to be alone, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

 _And I had only one wish on my list_  
 _For me you would be the perfect gift_  
 _There's nothing colder than an empty home_  
 _And holidays were never meant to be alone_


	4. Day 4 - You Were Mine

Day 4 - You were mine

 _But for me it's just a lonely time_  
 _Cause there were Christmases when you were mine_

"Alex, come on!" April Kepner exclaimed, finding him in the darkest corner of the apartment. "Get in the holiday spirit a little!" Organizing this Christmas party had been quite the chore, the least he could do was enjoy it!

The brooding man brought the beer bottle to his lips, taking a long drink before glaring up at her from the armchair. "Bah humbug."

The redhead sighed heavily before sitting on the arm of the chair. "So, what? You're just going to sit here and mope all night?"

"That's exactly what I planned to do. Now, if you don't mind..." He took another drink of the beer and nudged her off the chair.

April shook her head before joining some of her colleagues mingling at the punch bowl.

Alex almost felt bad for pissing on her attempt at Christmas spirit, but he wasn't in the mood for good tidings to men and all that crap.

This year had been really hard for him, and he wasn't even thinking about the pending trial. In fact, that was the last thing on his mind.

Jo was gone. After dropping her revelation, she left. Disappeared in the middle of a shift at the hospital. It was quite the clever move-the hospital was so busy that hardly anyone noticed her absence until twelve hours later. Once they checked Stephanie's apartment and the loft, she was long, long gone. Like a thief in the night.

Alex reached into his pocket, digging out his cellphone and dialing her number, listening to the disconnection notice.

Gone, she was gone.

Tears filled his eyes as he took another drink of beer, her favorite beer. Last Christmas they started their own traditions, and now...now she was gone. It felt like she'd taken a part of him with her. He was actually in physical pain, a pain he'd never felt before. Not when leaving his family, not with Izzie...this was something completely new and different. Maybe his heart was actually broken this time. He dropped his face in his hand, fighting back the sadness that filled his core. The party continued around him while Alex mourned the loss of the woman he loved.

 _I know this shouldn't be a lonely time_  
 _But there were Christmases when I didn't wonder how you are tonight_  
 _Cause there were Christmases when you were mine_

* * *

 **A/N - This one is short, but I guess I just wanted to leave you with the image of Alex crying**


	5. Day 5 - So This Is Christmas

Day 5 - So This Is Christmas

 _And so this is Christmas_  
 _For weak and for strong_  
 _For rich and the poor ones_  
 _The world is so wrong_

"Yet another suture, done," Jo Wilson rolled her eyes as she tapped away on the tablet and looked to Dr. Hunt.

"Dr. Wilson," the attending frowned. "Could you at least attempt to hide your irritation?"

"I am," she smirked, leaning against the desk and glancing out over the empty pit. "Everyone is out 'tising the season and all that. I'm bored!"

"There's your next patient," Owen motioned to the sliding glass doors as a young woman stumbled inside. "Let me know if you need any help."

The brunette pushed away from the desk and approached the young woman. "Hi, I'm Dr. Wilson...is everything alright?"

The woman looked around frantically, glancing over her shoulder numerous times before looking to the doctor. "I, I uh...I fell down and hurt my arm..."

Jo winced as the woman pushed back her sleeve and exposed a badly bruised wrist and forearm. "This way," she motioned the woman to a gurney. "We'll need to get an xray, I'm pretty sure it's broken."

"Broken?" the woman gasped, glancing over her shoulder again. "C-Can't I just get an icepack or something?"

The resident turned, gathering some supplies from a nearby cabinet. "You'll still need a few xrays," she replied, pressing her thumb to the woman's fingernails to observe the capillary refill. "Can you move your fingers for me?"

The young woman cringed as her fingers barely shifted. "I can't be here long!"

"You're in luck," Jo smiled. "It's pretty quiet around here, so it shouldn't take more than a couple of hours."

"I-I'll just come back in the m-morning..."

"Ma'am," the resident exclaimed as the woman shifted from the gurney. "Please, sit back down! You need to get that arm evaluated, you may need surgery."

"Surgery?! I can't have surgery! I-I shouldn't have c-come...I'm sorry..."

Jo pursed her lips, watching as the young woman looked over her shoulder again. "He doesn't know you're gone, does he?"

"Ex-Excuse me?"

"You had a fight, and he grabbed you, maybe even threw you down," the brunette spoke from experience. "You said what you had to...just so he'd stop, right?" She continued speaking when a tear rolled down the woman's cheek. "When he finally went to sl-sleep, you came here because you knew it was bad...am I right?"

"It was an accident," came the soft reply. "He didn't mean to..."

Jo swallowed the lump in her throat and took a small step towards the woman. "He broke your arm...that takes a lot of anger, and that kind of anger...isn't an accident..." She timidly reached out, placing her hand on the woman's shoulder. "It's not going to stop...he isn't going to change...you may not be so lucky next time..."

The woman sobbed before lifting her shirt, exposing a side of flesh covered in bruises.

The resident kept her face emotionless. "Let us help you, please..."

After a lot of talking and some begging, Jo was able to convince the woman to report her boyfriend and get the help she needed. After notifying Dr. Hunt, the police were notified and social services were called.

The brunette slipped from the pit, the scene all too familiar. Her feet thundered in the hospital halls as she hurried towards a nearby supply closet, panic pulsing in her veins. She wasn't ready for her past to smack her in the face tonight. She thought those feelings had been dealt with, but now...now she was reliving it. The fear. The panic. The pain.

Jo sat on the floor in the far corner, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. She rocked back and forth slightly, taking deep breaths as the memories flashed through her mind.

Some time later, someone stepped into the supply closet, cursing to themselves as they rifled through the shelves. "Jo?" the familiar voice noticed her.

"Alex? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the clinic?" Her voice cracked as she attempted to make the words sound casual.

"We need supplies," he rolled his eyes, motioning to a list in his hand. "I didn't really want to go home, so..." Alex studied her face for a moment. "Are you okay?"

"Don't ask," her voice shook as her arms tightened around her legs.

Alex nodded solemnly, setting the supplies aside and moving to sit beside her. They didn't say anything, they just sat in silence for a while. He smiled faintly when she finally reached out and took his hand, gripping it tightly. It wasn't much, but it was at least a step in the right direction.


	6. Day 6 - Moving On

Day 6 - Moving On

 _Celebrating this special time we share_  
 _Happiness cause love is in the air_

"Another day in the Denny Duquette done," Alex grumbled as he met up with his friend outside of the attendings lounge. "You know, I might be willing to go to jail if I didn't have to work in that damn clinic again."

"Stop being so morbid," Meredith rolled her eyes. "You're still lucky the hospital didn't fire you!"

"Yeah, whatever." Deep down the peds surgeon knew that he was indeed lucky to have a job, but putting him in the Denny Duquette clinic was almost as bad as being fired. How many men wanted to work in a place named after their ex-wife's lover. Could fate get anymore cruel.

Challenge accepted.

As the two attendings approached the elevator, a group of residents approached the same elevator, talking and laughing. Jo was among them, sharing an inside joke with Stephanie and Leah. The three musketeers were reunited.

Alex cleared his throat, causing the three to quiet down. "Hey, Jo."

"Hey, Alex," came the quiet reply. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas?" he mumbled to himself as the elevator doors opened and the three boarded the elevator. Since when did they do the whole holiday thing.

"We'll get the next one," Meredith told the residents as her friend stood there muttering to himself. "Seriously?" she whacked his arm.

"She seems so...happy," he replied sadly. He felt like he was chewed up inside, but she was... _happy_?

"She's moving on," the surgeon sighed, putting her hand to his shoulder. "You should too. It's over." Meredith waited a few seconds for him to absorb the words. "Come on, let's go home. The kids are asleep, so we'll make up some drinks and watch some crappy holiday movie."

"No thanks," Alex shook his head as the elevator doors opened. "I'll meet up with you later." After leaving the hospital, the surgeon approached his car, deciding to walk to Joe's instead. The weather seemed to fit his mood-dark, dreary, quiet. The normally busy streets were settling down for the night, and a cold drizzle covered him as he walked.

How could she be okay? He'd been moping around for weeks, lost without out her, but she seemed fine. Alex wasn't used to this feeling; he'd always been the one who ended the relationships and broken the hearts. He'd never allowed himself to love someone so much that he ended up being the one hurt. Lost.

Man, he'd turned into a chump.

Alex brushed the droplets from his hair as he stepped into the bar. Even Joe's was quiet for the night. Good, a few drinks sulking in the corner was what he needed. As he approached the bar, he stopped, a noise from the dartboard catching his attention.

Jo, Stephanie, and Leah were seated at a small table near the darts, sharing drinks and exchanging gifts.

Alex stood still, watching her for several moments. At least someone could be happy this time of year.


	7. Day 7 - Home Sweet Home

**A/N - Well, readers, congratulations! You've made it over halfway through this glum series this year, so now some small steps towards happiness. Also, I almost put Deluca in the bar with the girls in the last mini story, buuuuuuuuuuut, I figured you guys would hunt me down, kill me, and hide my body ;) xoxo**

 **Also, my wifi was down yesterday, so another update will come later today to get back on track :)**

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Day 7 - Home Sweet Home

 _If you want to be happy in a million ways_  
 _For the holidays you can't beat home, sweet home_

"Dr. Wilson!" April Kepner exclaimed as she finally located the resident on the fourth floor. "You haven't drawn names yet for Secret Santa."

Jo bit back a sarcastic retort; just because she was miserable this season didn't mean everyone else was too. If the redhead could manage to have some Christmas spirit after everything she had to endure this past year, then Jo could push her Alex problems aside to have some spirit as well. "It's been a busy day," she blew her hair from her face.

"I know what you mean," the attending chirped. "It's been really hard to track everyone down. Here you go," she extended a clear plastic bowl with folded slips of paper inside. "You can give your Secret Santa gift early if you want, but we're having a staff party next week in the attendings lounge."

"We'll see," the brunette replied as patiently as possible as she plucked a name from the bowl. "You really like this whole Christmas thing, don't you?"

"It's my favorite time of the year," April smiled widely. "Dr. Edwards!" she called as the elevator dinged and Stephanie stepped onto the floor. "Don't run from me!"

Jo laughed as the redhead dashed towards the elevator as Stephanie tried to close the doors. It must be nice to be that happy, despite the world dealing you a crappy hand. The resident shoved the slip of paper into her lab coat pocket as she was paged to the pit.

It wasn't until late that evening in the residents lounge when she remembered the drawn name. "Crap," she sighed as the name fell from her lab coat as she was stuffing the garment in her locker. "Oh no, oh no, oh no," she groaned, her eyes widening as she read the name on the slip of paper.

"What's wrong with you?" Leah asked as she and Stephanie dragged into the lounge.

"Are you guys doing Secret Santa?" Jo asked, motioning to the slip of paper in her hand.

"Yeah, I drew Dr. Grey," Stephanie rolled her eyes.

"I got Webber," Leah shrugged. "Ironic considering he fired me, huh? Who'd you get?"

The brunette slowly lowered herself onto a nearby bench. "Alex," she sighed heavily, staring at his name scrawled on the slip of paper. She'd recognize the handwriting anywhere.

"Seriously?" Stephanie peered over her shoulder.

"Man, that sucks," Leah frowned. "Do you want to trade?"

Jo bit her lip, considering the idea for a moment. "I don't know," she finally sighed.

"Don't do it," her friend shrugged. "You two have been talking at work, and what better way to show him that you've moved on than getting him a gift? Just like he's any other guy. Nobody special."

The resident looked to the paper, staring at it intently as her friends gathered their things. She and Alex were at least on decent terms. Nothing extravagant, but they didn't walk the other way when seeing each other in the hospital. They had even shared one or two lunch breaks together. Alex apologized repeatedly for the things he'd said, and Jo had confessed her secret marriage, explaining to him why she was still married, and why she'd never told him. They had made some real progress since breaking up. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder.

"So, what are you going to do?" Leah asked as the three women left the hospital behind. "Want to trade or what?"

"Nah, I'm going to keep him," Jo decided, shoving the paper in her back pocket.

One week later at the staff party, the brunette nervously toyed with the wrapped gift. It had seemed like a good idea, but now she felt really, really goofy. He was going to think it was stupid!

"Hey," his familiar voice interrupted her thoughts. "Why are you hiding in the corner?"

"I'm not hiding," the resident replied defensively. "I'm just...not mingling."

"Thanks for clearing that up," Alex smirked before taking a sip of his water. "I can't believe Kepner convinced us to do this."

"Tell me about it," Jo laughed, "but how could we really say no? She's so happy."

"Right," he chuckled as the redhead refilled the chip bowl. "Did she talk you into the Secret Santa thing too?"

"Yeah, who did you get?"

"Bailey," the attending shook his head. "Talk about karma. Who'd you get?"

"Speaking of karma," the young woman cleared her throat. "I, uh, got your name..."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." She took a deep breath and turned to face him, putting her back to the room. "I, uh, spent a lot of time thinking about your gift, and...I hope you like it..." She thrust the giftbox into his chest before she lost her nerve and ran from the hospital.

Alex jarred, taking the gift and setting his water on the corner of a table. "Do you want me to open it here? Now?"

"Yeah."

The attending scanned her face, seeing the vulnerability in her eyes. "I'm sure I'll love it," he assured her before lifting the lid. He stilled, his eyes boring into the box. "A key?" he asked quietly, looking to her.

"Your key...to the loft..."

Alex nodded slowly, remembering the day he'd moved out and given her back his key. "My key..."

Jo shifted uncomfortably as a silence settled between them. "You can come over...whenever you'd like..."

His eyes shifted to her. "Anytime? You're not...seeing...anyone?" Alex wasn't stupid-he'd heard the rumors that she and Deluca were getting closer.

"No, I'm not."

The attending closed the box tenderly, tucking it into the pocket of his teal scrubs. "It's the best gift I've ever gotten," he wrapped her in a tight hug.

Finally, he could go home.


	8. Day 8 - A Broken Hallelujah

Day 8 - A Broken Hallelujah

He sat at her silent bedside for the third day in a row, clutching her hand desperately, watching for any sign of movement. A wrinkled brow; the shift of a finger. _Anything_ to show him that she was coming back to him. He couldn't bear to see her like that, and it was eating him alive knowing that he had put her here. The person he loved the most...he was her downfall.

"Dr. Karev?" Miranda Bailey asked as she lingered in the doorway.

"Don't call me that anymore," he growled over his shoulder, glaring at her. "I'm not a doctor anymore."

"Alex," the chief spoke his name patiently, stepping into the hospital room and closing the door gently. "You are a doctor, one of the finest surgeons this hospital has!"

"I'm not a doctor," the man looked to the woman he loved in the hospital bed. "Being a doctor couldn't save her...being a doctor put her here. I'm not a doctor."

Miranda pursed her lips, walking over to stand behind him. "It's not your fault, Karev," she spoke quietly, placing her hand on his shoulder. "You didn't hit her. You didn't make him hit her either..."

"I wasn't there for her," he spat, his voice cracking. Alex cleared his throat and shrugged her hand off his shoulder. "Her vitals are stable, but she's still unresponsive. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"Alex..."

"Leave!"

Dr. Bailey sighed heavily, shaking her head as she slipped out of the room. "Don't," she shook her head as the nurse approached the door. "He'll let you know if he needs anything. Just leave him be."

Alex smoothed his thumb along Jo's wrist as he stared at her still form lying in the bed. She had been in a coma for three days now, all thanks to him. She had all these tubes connected to her because of him. Boy, had he screwed up this time.

A month ago, Alex Karev had faced the music and went to court, prepared to have the book thrown at him for what he'd done to the intern. The two lawyers played their game of chess, Deluca's side bringing in each and every staff member he'd ever snapped at, proving that he had a history of violence. His lawyer countered with his reputation as a peds surgeon, Arizona, and what happened that night from Jo's perspective. The brunette was called to the stand, telling what happened. The jury understood what Alex had thought was going on-his girlfriend was being assaulted. However, they did not approve of the way he handled the situation. Anyone who carried a medical license was held to a higher standard. Alex was sentenced one year probation, six months of weekly anger management sessions, and one hell of a fine.

Everything was supposed to be fine, right?

However, the media was all over it, and Jo's abusive husband caught wind of everything.

Days earlier he found her and beat her within an inch of her life for running away from him. Jo was found behind the hospital by a group of interns. The brunette had yet to come out of her coma.

Alex dropped his face in his hand, raw emotion moving through his veins. She was here because of him! If he had kept his temper in check that night, Jo would never have gotten mixed up in all of this. "Jo," he pleaded, tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked to her resting frame. "Please," he moved over her, gently pushing the hair from her brow. "Come back to me, please. _Please_! I can't...I can't lose you... I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry!" He dropped to his knees by the bed, draping his arm across her waist. "Please!" he cried out, looking skyward.

 _Well, maybe there's a God above_  
 _But all I've ever learned from love_  
 _Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you_  
 _And it's not a cry that you hear at night_  
 _It's not somebody who's seen the light_  
 _It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Alex wasn't even sure to who, or what, he was directing the pleas; he'd never been a religious man. He believed in what he could see, he believed in science, and he had never entertained the thought of a Higher Power. But now...now when it came to Jo's life... If there was anything to the God stuff, or whatever, he was at least willing to ask. "Please, please don't let me lose her. I can't...I can't..." The cries caught in his throat as he put his head to her stomach, breathing in her scent. "Please...please..."

The man jumped as her finger twitched, brushing against him. "Jo!" he exclaimed, grabbing her hand between his. "Come on, Jo, come on! Open your eyes, please, please open your eyes!" Alex coaxed her for several minutes, nearly collapsing when those gorgeous eyes of hers finally fluttered open.

 _Hallelujah_  
 _Hallelujah_  
 _Hallelujah_  
 _Hallelujah_


	9. Day 9 - Baby Please Come Home

Day 9 - Baby Please Come Home

 _They're singing Deck the Halls_  
 _But it's not like Christmas at all_  
 _'Cause I remember when you were here_  
 _And all the fun we had last year_

Jo took a deep breath as she turned a circle in the loft, looking everything over. The place looked pristine.

Which wasn't a good thing.

Alex would know that she went through a lot of trouble for his visit, and that made her feel silly. This wasn't her first date with him-they'd been together for almost five years, made love hundreds of times, and he'd nearly beaten a guy to death for her. They were past the new stages of love; she could wear sweats and no make up and he would still want her.

The brunette jumped when she heard his key in the lock; she'd told him just to come in like normal since she had given his key back and everything. They weren't on that knock on the door stage either. She wasn't quite sure what stage they were in exactly, but she knew that they weren't in first date, knocking on the door stage. Jo ran her fingers through her hair and took a seat at the dining table. Casually. Like she was checking her email...not making sure the loft was spotless.

"Hey," Alex greeted after stepping inside. "You cleaned."

"Shut up," she frowned, causing him to chuckle. "I didn't want you to think the place went to hell since you were gone."

"Right, you're the slob," he teased, pulling off his jacket and hanging it on the hook near the door. "Do you have food coming?"

Food! Crap! "No, I was thinking we could order a pizza," the young woman lied, hoping it sounded authentic.

"You don't have to do that, I'll cook," the surgeon shrugged, moving over to the cabinets and pulling out a box of pasta.

"How do you know I have any food?"

"Because you don't cook."

"Ha ha," Jo stuck her tongue out before laying her phone on the table and joining him in the kitchen. "Tell me what to do."

The lovers settled into their usual routine, talking easily about work as they moved around the small kitchen and ate dinner together. After cleaning up, they sat on the couch for a movie, slowly moving closer to each other as the minutes passed. Midway through the movie, his arm was around her, and her head was leaned onto his shoulder.

It had been very lonely in the loft, and Jo was glad to have him home, even if only for a visit.


	10. Day 10 - All I Want For Christmas Is You

**A/N - Okay, gloom & doom is behind us, and now we reach more uplifting mini stories :) xoxo**

* * *

Day 10 - All I Want For Christmas Is You

 _I don't want a lot for Christmas_  
 _There is just one thing I need_  
 _I don't care about the presents_  
 _Underneath the Christmas tree_  
 _I just want you for my own_  
 _More than you could ever know_  
 _Make my wish come true_  
 _All I want for Christmas is you_

"Alex!" Meredith exclaimed as they passed each other in the hall.

"Gotta get to surgery!"

"You can't keep avoiding me!" the surgeon yelled into his retreating back.

"Watch me," Alex muttered as he stepped into the OR to scrub in.

Meredith had been bugging him for days now regarding a Christmas gift. For some reason, the normally crabby surgeon had decided that she wanted to do the whole holiday thing-making cookies with the kids, decorating a tree, and exchanging gifts. They'd never exchanged gifts the whole time he'd known her! Maybe she was missing Derek or something.

Whatever her reason, the peds surgeon didn't know what to tell her. The only thing he wanted for Christmas was Jo. Sure, they'd been making progress lately, but he hadn't received an invite to move back into the loft. He knew it wasn't going to happen overnight, but he had hoped they'd officially be back together by Christmas. Maybe it's that he was getting older, but for whatever reason, Alex actually cherished the holidays now. He wanted to have a family to spend them with. A woman he loved, children one day. He wanted to be up late on Christmas Eve putting toys together for the visit from Santa. He wanted to walk through downtown Seattle hand in hand Christmas shopping. Hell, he even wanted to move that damn elf every night.

But he wanted to do all of those things with Jo. Jo was his person, the one he was meant to be with. Meredith couldn't very well giftwrap Jo now could she?

Alex shook his thoughts aside and focused on the surgery at hand. Getting his mind off his personal dramas for a while would be nice.

Unfortunately, surgery couldn't last forever.

That night, the peds surgeon tried to slip from the hospital and spend the night in the bar, but Meredith caught him.

"Alex!" his friend exclaimed. "We're supposed to be merry and crap, and you still haven't told me what you want for Christmas! And we're supposed to exchange gifts in an hour!"

"Mer, don't worry about it," the man rolled his eyes. "Get me a stupid sweater or something, I don't care. Besides, I'm not really in the party mood, so I'm going to Joe's."

"You're bailing on me too?!"

"Yep," Alex nodded. "Here, I got you a gift though." He pushed the card into her hand.

"Chuck E. Cheese's," Meredith smirked after reading the giftcard. "The kids will love it."

"I thought they might."

The surgeon studied him for a moment, her arms crossed over her chest. "Well, I found you a gift, even without your help. Close your eyes."

"Seriously?" he scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

"Close them!"

"Fine," Alex huffed, closing his eyes.

"Okay, open them."

The peds surgeon opened his eyes, expecting a cologne set or something, but instead saw Jo standing there with a bow on top of her head. "You're my gift?"

"Yeah," the brunette blushed, looking down.

"She needs a lot of attention and has to be fed three times a day," Meredith smirked from behind the resident.

"That won't be a problem," Alex replied before drawing Jo into his arms, kissing her deeply. For once, he'd gotten something for Christmas he wouldn't have to exchange later.


	11. Day 11 - At Christmas

**A/N - I'm glad you guys enjoyed the last one, hehehe I figured after depressing you for most of the holiday season, you deserved something sickeningly sweet ;) xoxo**

* * *

Day 11 - At Christmas

 _No matter who you are_  
 _How far you've come_  
 _This is where you belong_  
 _At Christmas_

Jo sighed heavily as she stepped into the empty loft on Christmas Eve. The hospital had kept her super busy that day, but now that everything was quiet...she realized how utterly and completely alone she felt. Stephanie was spending the holiday with her boyfriend, Leah and Deluca were going home to their families, and Alex...well, she was sure Alex was spending Christmas Eve with Meredith, her sisters, and her kids.

The brunette pulled her jacket off, dropping it on a nearby chair before kicking her shoes off as well. The emptiness of the loft made her feel even more sad. She hadn't really had the time or energy to decorate for the holiday, which she now regretted. Coming home to a festive home might have made her feel a tiny bit better. Jo padded over to the refrigerator, yanking open the door and pulling out a bottle of beer. The only things she had in her refrigerator were beer and yogurt. Everyone else she knew had planned for a big spread, but she hadn't even gotten bread. How pathetic was she?

Jo popped the cap from the beer bottle, taking a long drink before moving to the dresser and pulling out a pair of flannel pajamas. It had been years since she'd spent Christmas Eve alone, so she wasn't really sure what to do. Netflix and chill, she supposed.

The brunette decided on a horror flick, hoping the movie would take her into another world where holidays didn't exist. Unfortunately, an hour later, she was still just as blue as she had been since coming home. Jo glanced to her phone, checking for some messages. Nothing. Everyone was off having their family time while she was alone.

And why was she alone?

Because she was stubborn. If she'd just forgiven Alex by now, they could be spending the evening together. Having his strong, warm arms wrapped around her would be much better than her current situation.

Jo sighed at the thought, picking up her phone and staring at the screen, wishing he'd call. Didn't he miss her like she missed him? The brunette closed her eyes a moment. Alex had put himself out there for her when everything first happened, and she was the one who pushed him away. If they were to get back together, she'd have to be the one to make the move now. After taking a deep breath, she dialed his cell. "Hey," she jarred after he answered on the second ring.

"Hey," Alex greeted glumly. "How are you?"

"I'm..." The woman hesitated. Her friends would tell her to play hard to get, never give the man the upper hand, blah, blah, blah. Jo didn't want to play games with him; she just wanted him with her. "I'm awful, Alex," the brunette put her heart out there. "I miss you, I really really do. I've never been into holidays, but tonight..."

"Yeah, me too."

She clutched the cell, biting her lip. "Do you want to come over? We can..."

"Yes," he cut her off.

Jo jarred as the call dropped. "What the..." she muttered, staring at the screen. Had they lost connection? Was he on his way over already? What, he wasn't spending the holidays with his second family? The one that had been the only one there for him? She forced the negative thoughts from her mind; none of that mattered now. Jo just wanted her Alex back. No matter what they'd been through, no matter the arguments, he belonged here. They belonged together. Especially at Christmas.


	12. Day 12 - My Only Wish

**A/N - Hopefully you'll like the uber happy way things end :) Wishing everyone who celebrates a very Merry Christmas xoxo**

* * *

Day 12 - My Only Wish

 _Santa can you hear me?_  
 _I have been so good this year_  
 _And all I want is one thing_  
 _Tell me my true love is near_  
 _He's all I want, just for me_  
 _Underneath my Christmas tree_  
 _I'll be waiting here_  
 _Santa that's my only wish this year_

"Are you freaking serious?" Alex Karev asked as his former mentor waved the white beard at him. "No way!"

"Come on, Alex!" Arizona Robbins exclaimed, sighing in frustration. "The kids will love it!"

"Find someone else," the surgeon shook his head. "Besides, I thought you were mad at me for beating up Deluca."

"I was mad," the blonde surgeon chirped, "but when the jury let you off, I figured I could too."

"They didn't let me off," he countered. "I'm on probation for a year, and I have to see a psychiatrist once a week!"

"You could have lost your job!" she reminded him. "Everything you've worked for, down the drain! Now quit your whining and put on this suit."

"But..."

"It's for the children!"

Alex frowned at her for a moment before snatching the beard and suit. Whether or not he wanted to admit it, Arizona was right. Holidays were a bad time to be in the hospital, especially for kids at Christmas. They'd have a much better time at home with their families, not here with people they didn't know, medicine, shots, and surgery. The least he could do was dress up as Santa to brighten their evening. The peds surgeon remembered how rough Christmas had been in his house growing up; he would do better for these kids.

"Any big Christmas plans?" Andrew Deluca asked as he and Jo Wilson left OR two behind.

"No, not really," the brunette shrugged. "Not really in the Christmas spirit this year, you know? I'll probably just go home and sleep."

"That sounds pretty lonely."

Jo shrugged again; she deserved to be alone during the holiday. After all the secrets and lies, not to mention that Alex had practically begged to come home...after criticizing how she was raised... The young woman shook away the memories as she focused on her post op notes. Hopefully she could slip out of here without anyone throwing her a pity party.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

"Jo, you have to come see!" Leah burst into the residents' lounge as the woman was gathering her things. "Someone dressed up as Santa on the peds floor. They're doing pictures and everything, it's adorable!"

"Sounds sweet, but I..."

"Come on!" her friend interrupted, grabbing her hand and dragging her from the lounge.

"I've seen Santa before, you know," Jo frowned as the elevator doors closed.

"The kids are so cute," Leah gushed, as if she hadn't spoken. "Maybe I should try out peds. Ugh, but then I'd have to deal with Arizona...and Alex... No, definitely shouldn't try peds."

The brunette rolled her eyes as the elevator stopped at the peds floor and the doors opened. "Awww," she sighed in spite of herself. "How precious."

The residents moved closer to Santa's chair, set up near the nurse's station. Parents were snapping pictures, children were pulling on Santa's beard, and the nurses handed out candy canes. The staff had managed to make the kids feel better about being in the hospital during Christmas.

"Who's playing Santa?" the brunette inquired as she studied the eyes. The man looked familiar.

"I dunno, a third year, I think," Leah shrugged. "Wanna take a picture with Santa?"

"Are-Are you kidding?! No way!"

"Come on," her friend laughed. "I've seen the way you've been moping around. Tell Santa what you want for Christmas. Maybe it will be under your tree in the morning."

Jo bit her lip as Santa motioned her over. "Fine," she rolled her eyes, walking over to the Santa chair. "Do I stand up, or..."

"That's up to you," Santa smirked, patting his knee. The resident blushed before sitting on his knee. "Have you been a good girl this year, Jo?"

"How do you know my name?"

"I'm Santa, I know everybody's name."

Jo quirked her head, the voice sounding familiar. Yeah, whoever was playing Santa was trying to sound jolly, but... Hmmmmm... "I don't think I've been a good girl this year, Santa," she sighed heavily. "I...I kept a lot of secrets, thinking I was helping someone, but...it made things worse...then, when he tried to apologize...I wouldn't even listen..."

"Is this someone you care about?"

"I love him," the brunette sighed. "Even though I've really messed things up...and don't really deserve it...do you think...could you..."

"Yes?" Santa prodded as the woman stuttered and looked down.

"Could you give me my boyfriend back?" Jo felt ridiculous for asking, especially since 'Santa' was a staff member in disguise, but...maybe whoever was playing Santa would tell Alex that she was ready to make up.

"If that's what you really want..."

"It is!" the woman exclaimed. "I love him more than anything, and I just want him back!"

Alex pulled the Santa hat from his head and yanked the beard under his chin to expose his face. "I think I can make that happen."

"Alex!" Jo exclaimed, her eyes widening.

"Merry Christmas, Jo," he smirked before hugging her close and kissing her.


End file.
